This Disease Called Living

It's possible that this is Depression talking, but days like today I despair of life.  I don't think I'd ever actively seek to kill myself, or even formulate a plan, because I know too much about the hereafter to ever make such a blunder.  But days like today really make death look more and more inviting.

In fact, I'm fairly sure this is Depression talking, because nothing really horrible happened today.  I've just been having trouble getting my 8 year-old daughter to do her chores.  When she does do them, it is generally with much whining and complaining, something I just can't abide, because we were never allowed to do that in my house.  However, I was dealing with her attitude alright, up until she yelled at me to "shut up".  I shut her up in her room (there's no lock, but she still hates this), and she proceeded to scream and cry.  I wasn't terribly upset...more annoyed than anything.  But something changed inside, and I entered what I call a "slow" period.  When I start to go "slow", it feels like I am moving in slow motion. My muscles stop responding properly, my limbs refuse to cooperate, and I know I must quickly find somewhere to sit or I will fall where I stand.  During a Slow Period, I am a toy with a dying battery--I wind down until I stop completely.  Sometimes I come out of it while I can still move, but generally I reach a stage where I can no longer move, speak, or even hold my eyes open.  My mind is still alert, but it is trapped in a sleeping body.

This is what is happening to me now.

I've never done any writing during a Slow Period, so I'm hoping doing so has some kind of positive effect; perhaps the act of thinking and writing will shorten the Period, and keep me from freezing completely.  But, it is while I am in this state that Mr. Depression comes a-knockin'. 

Depression goes hand-in-hand with anxiety, and it is anxiety that is probably the cause of my Slow Periods. Because of this, it is generally in my Slow Periods that I feel like I want to die; that I feel worthless; that I feel like life is no more than a disease, as Edgar Allen Poe described in a poem once.

But when it comes down to the absolute truth, I do not really want to die But I still can't seem to shake the gloo
Nope, the Slow Period is pulling me down futher.  I won't b able to move for a few hours in a moment, so I'd beeter finish.  

Thanks for listening!

Life Everlasting

Wow, it's hard to believe that I haven't written a post here for nearly two years!  I have a million excuses, but I won't bother...it will only bore you anyway.

There is quite a bit I've been doing lately, and I have a lot of news to catch up on.  But, since today is Sunday, I'm going to concentrate on something, well, spiritual.  I'll catch up on all that secular stuff later in the week!

I've been re-reading one of my favorite books: Life Everlasting by Duane S. Crowther.  It's a fascinating book, all about what happens to us after we die.  It includes references from the scriptures, and numerous prophets, both ancient and modern.  In case you are wondering, this book relates specifically to The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints (Mormons); however, the book was not published by or endorsed specifically by the Church.  And though the author backs up most statements with reputable references, there may be some things in there that are pure speculation.  Also, even though this is a "Mormon" book, I think it is of interest to everyone, no matter what your religion or belief system.

After all, we all die. So what happens next?

Before getting to the meat of this book, let's go over a little background.

Everyone has heard of the "Afterlife", and most religions, cults, and belief systems believe in some sort of place where a person's consciousness goes after the body dies.  Of course, many people--scientists and other "learned people" in particular--believe we don't go anywhere; that we just die, and there isn't anything else.  In fact, let's look at it from a scientific standpoint for a moment.  Most scientists, I think would agree that consciousness--the whatever-it-is inside of us that allows us to think and be self-aware--is composed of a kind of energy.  Energy also allows our bodies to move, and our brains to function.  Science teaches us that energy cannot be either created or destroyed; that it exists everywhere in the universe, and always has.  So, if our consciousness is energy, and energy is never destroyed, when the consciousness of a person flees from his or her body, it must go somewhere.  Right?

Now for the spiritual stuff.

The Afterlife takes place in the Spirit World, which is an actual place.  Just like each living thing on Earth has a spirit (consciousness, energy, etc.), so also the planet on which we live has a spirit.  It is to this spirit Earth that we go after we die.  Think of it as another dimension, sharing the same space in which we live.  This means that, if we could see the Spirit World, and if God willed it, we would see the spirits of the departed all around us.  We would see trees, flowers and animals; we would see vast cities filled with innumerable people.  We don't know the specifics on how the Spirit World works or is organized, because this hasn't been revealed.  But we do know it exists, and we know where it is.

You might be wondering what proof I have for my beliefs in this, and the simple truth is, outside of the scriptures and revelations given by modern prophets, I have none.  This is what faith is for.

The author of the book begins with going over scriptural references of the Spirit World, beginning with the Bible.  These verses are few, but they do exist.  The first is from the New Testament, in John 5:24:

                    "He that heareth my word, and believeth on him that sent me,

                    hath everlasting life, and shall not come into condemnation;

                    but is passed from death unto life."

This tells us that once a person dies, they pass on into "life", or another stage of existence.  I've heard a Catholic priest at a funeral describe death as a "birth into a new life".  This means that all those who have passed out of this world through the gates of death, are not really gone, but are still alive.  They still think, feel, and do.  They are simply in another place.  But a place, as we've already mentioned, that isn't far away, but is very close.

The author continues with the many stories of Jesus bringing the dead back to life: a young man in Luke 7: 12-17, the young daughter of Jairus in Luke 8: 41-55, just to name two.  Applying reason to these stories, is it not reasonable to assume that if Jesus was able to return these individuals' consciousness to their bodies, there must have been someplace to bring their consciousness back from?  It must have gone somewhere.

In this same chapter, the author then tells of the experience of a Mormon missionary by the name of Peter E. Johnson, who died and visited the Spirit World, returning to life an hour-and-a-half later, in September 1898:

"My spirit left the body; just how I cannot tell.  But I perceived myself standing some four or five feet in the air, and saw my body lying on the bed.  I felt perfectly natural, but as this was a new condition, I began to make observations.  I turned my head, shrugged my shoulders, felt with my hands, and realized that it was myself.  I also knew that my body was lying, lifeless, on the bed.  While I was in a new environment, it did not seem strange, for I realized everything that was going on, and perceived that I was the same in the spirit as I had been in the body.  While contemplating this new condition, something attracted my attention, and on turning around I beheld a personage who said: 'You did not know that I was here.'  I replied: 'No, but I see you are here.  Who are you?'  'I am your guardian angel; I have been following you constantly while on earth.'  I asked: 'What will you do now?'  He replied: 'I am to report your presence, and you will remain here until I return.'

Mr. Crowther goes on and on with many other examples, but this gives a taste of what Life Everlasting is about.  I recommend this book highly, as it is very interesting and informative.  It can be found at libraries, for sale at Amazon.com, and many bookstores.